I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
