I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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