Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
