Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
