I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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