names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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