Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
