My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
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