forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
