You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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