just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
