I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
