I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
