drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
