Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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