Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Jerry, you need to find god
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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