Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
