Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
