I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
