Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
