If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
