I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
