My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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