I want to make a zoo with you.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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