New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
