So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
