the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i wish my penis had a tongue
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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