there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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