I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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