My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
