It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
