My nipple is on Facebook.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
