how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
