I am full of burrito and curiosity
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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