Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
