I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
