Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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