Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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