And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
birth control should be required to get into college
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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