So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I am naked and annoyed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
