well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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