I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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