Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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