At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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