i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
