I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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