We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
