she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
being pregnant is like rehab
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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