He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
