im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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