dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I intend to get homeless drunk
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
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